


Religion

by tinee



Category: Feverwake - Victoria Lee
Genre: Alternate Point of View, Canon Compliant, Gen, listen it's just such an iconic line, literally just the "jeans so tight i can see your religion" comment but from Dara's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23524333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinee/pseuds/tinee
Summary: “Ames and Taye got back ages ago.” Dara startled, yanking his hand off the doorknob and almost dropping his phone. “Where’ve you been?”Dara entertained the thought of telling Noam the truth. Where had he been? On his knees in the dirty bathroom of a club in Raleigh. “At the library.”“Oh yeah? Those jeans’re so tight I can see your religion. Does the librarian make you bend over to get the good books?”That night from Dara's perspective.
Relationships: Noam Álvaro/Dara Shirazi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 62





	Religion

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly just writing practice and also I love Dara thanks that's all-

Dara flashed his ID at the bouncer in front of the club and followed Ames in, holding onto her wrist so he didn’t get lost in the pulsing crowd. He knew without looking that the hand in the back of his shirt was Taye’s. 

Ames led the way to the bar, and soon there was a drink being pressed into Dara’s hand. He downed it without even considering what was in it―anything that would get his mind off of that stupid new Level IV recruit was good enough for him. 

Ugh. Noam Álvaro. 

Dara didn’t understand Lehrer’s obsession with him―what was so special about this Atlantian nobody? What made him worthy of Lehrer’s attention? It used to be him. It used to be Dara that had all of Lehrer’s time, and now he had to share it with this braindead fool. 

Except, no, he did get it. He knew exactly why Lehrer had taken Álvaro on as his new pet project―he was powerful. He was powerful and he was stupid, stupid enough to trust Lehrer. 

Dara couldn’t blame him. He used to be like that, too. Stupid and naive, latching onto every word that fell from Lehrer’s silver tongue. 

The thought of Lehrer made him sick, bile rising in his throat. He downed another shot. 

Ames grabbed onto his wrist, almost making him drop the glass still in his hand, and he looked up. She was staring at him with a wide-eyed expression. 

_‘Are you okay?’_

Dara rolled his eyes and forced a smile, pulling out of her mind. He really wasn’t in the mood to listen to her pitying thoughts that still managed to sound so critical of him. She narrowed her eyes at him before shrugging and turning away. 

He weaved back through the crowd, letting his magic fan out across the people. It was comforting, in a way. The constant buzz of other people’s thoughts covered the screaming of his own. Filled that empty void that he had carved for himself, a place he used to consider an escape. Now his own mind was too dangerous to linger in for too long.

There was a grim sort of pleasure to be found in the thoughts that men and women alike had about him—it reminded him that people other than Lehrer could like him, even if it was only for his body. And yet, despite that gross satisfaction, Dara also found it sickening, the way that grown adults could have those thoughts about him. But he’d learned to deal. He had to.

He could feel people’s gazes on him, their depraved thoughts trickling through his mind. Dara picked one out and followed it like a thread of yarn, finding a man with dark hair staring at him. He walked toward him, diving into his thoughts as he did. It was satisfying, being able to know exactly what people were thinking about him. Some would call it perverse. He called it being self-aware.

Dara didn’t notice when Ames and Taye left―Ames texted him, but he had his phone on silent. He was… preoccupied.

Three and a half hours later, when he finally stumbled out of the club with wrinkled clothes and messy hair, he texted Ames eight times before he remembered that she was probably sleeping. He called a car to take him back to the complex.

It wasn’t difficult to sneak in unnoticed. The night guards were hardly awake.

Dara shut the door to the barracks softly with his hands―he didn’t trust his telekinesis not to slam it with this much alcohol in his system. Ames would’ve murdered him if he woke her up at five in the morning.

“Ames and Taye got back ages ago.” Dara startled, yanking his hand off the doorknob and almost dropping his phone. He turned to look at Noam with an unamused expression, coolly hiding what he really felt. Frustration. Anger. “Where’ve you been?”

Dara entertained the thought of telling him the truth. Where had he been? On his knees in the dirty bathroom of a club in Raleigh. “At the library.”

Noam’s brow arched at him, and Dara suddenly had the inane thought of what it would look like waxed off. Wow. How much did he drink? 

He tried studying Noam’s thoughts, but apparently it had been enough alcohol that he couldn’t even do that. There were only blurry glimpses that he could catch—feelings and vague thoughts that his drunken mind couldn’t make sense of. 

“Oh yeah? Those jeans’re so tight I can see your religion. Does the librarian make you bend over to get the good books?”

Dara’s breath caught in his throat, rough and sharp. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so drunk anymore. 

How dare he? How fucking dare he? It was none of his business what Dara did with his time. Who did he think he was, Lehrer? 

Dara didn’t need to read his mind to see the regret in Noam’s face―Noam realized he went too far. He tried to reign in the magic crackling out around him, taking a deep breath and fighting the embarrassed flush from his face. 

For a moment, Dara considered committing several crimes right then and there. It couldn’t be that hard to cover up a murder. 

“I don’t need to pull all-nighters to do well,” he finally said, just to see the hurt on Noam’s face. He could feel it in his thoughts, too. Embarrassment. Bitterness. 

Dara started off toward the bedrooms, but he paused to look over Noam’s shoulder. 

There was material that he recognized from years ago, _A Physics Primer_ sitting on the coffee table. Notes in Noam’s disturbingly messy handwriting. A coffee stain that definitely hadn’t been there when they’d left. 

Dara’s eyes finally landed on Noam’s face, which was turned to watch him. They were close enough that he could see the striations in his irises. The words were tumbling out, cold and steady, before he could stop them―not that he would’ve wanted to. 

“You can study all you want. It isn’t going to make a difference.” 

Despite his drunkenness, despite the fact that his powers weren’t working like they were supposed to after drinking so much alcohol, Dara could hear one of Noam’s thoughts as clearly as if he’d said it aloud as he walked away. 

Dara was right, and Noam knew it. 

Suddenly, Dara wished he could take it back. He didn’t deserve that. Noam hadn’t done anything to him―that was all Lehrer. Dara didn’t know why he was being such an ass to him. 

Dara lay awake in the boys dormitory for a long time, staring into the dark with his eyes wide open. Eventually the alcohol wore off, and then it was just him and that lonely void he called his mind. Noam came in an hour after Dara. 

He kept his eyes closed and his breaths even as Noam stripped and changed into clothes he could sleep in. Listened to him slip into his bed, the sheets rustling. It felt like it was just the two of them there in the still air, even though Dara could hear Taye snoring in the next bed over.

Dara fell asleep tangled in Noam’s late night thoughts, picking apart every last one and finding nothing but selflessness. It only made him feel worse.


End file.
